This letter has by far the most cross-outs and rewrites, as well as the worst penmanship. By the end, there are a few tears in the paper from Anthy pressing down so hard with her pen.
Dearest Utena,
I lied to you a lot. All I can ask you to do is trust me that what I'm about to say is true.
I promised myself that I would never make you think of me again, but unfortunately, there are some extenuating circumstances. I've been in an unsafe situation recently. If you're reading this, it's because I'm dead, and my friendspeople I've m friends have sent it to you in my place.
What I did to you was unforgiveable. I deserve to die for that alone I hope you never meet anyone like me again. You deserve to be able to trust the people around you. I was scared that h There is no excuse. I won't attempt to make one. But since I didn't get a chance to say it before: I am sorry. It's the worst thing I've ever done., except for what I did to get myself killed.
None of this was your fault. I don't make very good choices, Utena. But they were mine, not yours. I could have killed you. I almost did. You were the best part of my life, and I think I was the worst part of yours. Thank you for teaching me how to be a real person. I made friends here, I think. Some of them are like m I think I finally figured it out. That isn't why I loved you, but I did love you. I do love you. It's selfish, but I don't want you to forget me.
Stay away from my brother. Stay away from Ohtori. Stay safe.
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utena. cw suicidal ideation
Dearest Utena,
I lied to you a lot. All I can ask you to do is trust me that what I'm about to say is true.
I promised myself that I would never make you think of me again, but unfortunately, there are some extenuating circumstances. I've been in an unsafe situation recently. If you're reading this, it's because I'm dead, and my
friendspeople I've mfriends have sent it to you in my place.What I did to you was unforgiveable.
I deserve to die for that aloneI hope you never meet anyone like me again. You deserve to be able to trust the people around you.I was scared that hThere is no excuse. I won't attempt to make one. But since I didn't get a chance to say it before: I am sorry. It's the worst thing I've ever done., except for what I did to get myself killed.None of this was your fault. I don't make very good choices, Utena. But they were mine, not yours. I could have killed you. I almost did. You were the best part of my life, and I think I was the worst part of yours. Thank you for teaching me how to be a real person.
I made friends here, I think. Some of them are like mI think I finally figured it out. That isn't why I loved you, but I did love you. I do love you. It's selfish, but I don't want you to forget me.Stay away from my brother. Stay away from Ohtori. Stay safe.
Yours always,
Anthy Himemiya