Anthy's side of the room is cozy and neat, bed made with a housekeeper's efficiency. There is a small, fairly pathetic pot of ivy on her bedside table, stolen from the conservatory and kept alive to the best of her ability. Also on her bedside table is Chu-chu's cage, although notably there is also a small, rat-sized bed on right side of the pillow towards the wall, complete with a blanket and tiny pillow and everything. Chu-chu lives like a king.
Inside the single drawer of the bedside table are a number of neatly-folded letters.
I, Anthy Himemiya, am of sound mind and body. Knowing I will most likely die soon, I would like to share my wishes regarding the postmortem distribution of my property.
The collection of fairy tale books under my bed that I stole from the Rosenblum Hall library will go to Mariko Shinobu.
My pet rat, Chu-chu, will go to Hawke if she's willing. I think it will make him happiest. If this isn't possible or is too burdensome in any way, I ask that our guidance counselor, Isabella, take care of him and give him to her children upon their reunion.
[Chu-chu, for the record, is in his cage — the first time anyone has seen him in there since the start of winter break. He's very agitated. Not happy in the least.]
My guitar will go to Hawke as well. It's not very good, but I hope she finds a use for it.
The two photos in this drawer [one of Utena alone in a hospital, one of Utena and Anthy together, the latter sporting a healing black eye] will go to Utena Tenjou, along with the letter addressed to her.
I was hoping to be able to speak with you more. I truly enjoyed talking with you. It might sound strange, but I didn't realize that mothers who cared about their children as people really existed. Thank you for proving my ignorance.
Please know you are not responsible in any way for what I've done. Do what needs to be done, and get home to your children.
I'm sorry. In general, but to you especially. You've been so kind to me when I've never deserved it, and now I'm hurting you again when your wounds are so fresh.
This is something of a habit with me. The person I'm trying to save was also very kind to me, even though I didn't deserve it, and I almost killed her. I was hoping to live long enough to become something better than that, but it didn't work out that way.
I understand if you're angry. I hope you are, because what I've done is unforgiveable. Please know that everything I said to you under this roof, I meant. You are someone I hoped I could be like.
If you're willing, I would like to give Chu-chu to you. He likes you and trusts you, and Varric, too. He will be down for a while, but he loves to be with people most of all. If he has that, he'll find his way.
Yours, Anthy
P.S. I may not get a chance to say this elsewhere. The Interim Headmistress is afraid of Isabella, at least in part because she's a mother. I memorized the quote: "Aren't you the kind of mother who eats her young?" The children were kidnapped to keep Isabella compliant, but also to keep the Interim Headmistress safe from the danger Isabella poses, real or perceived. Trust Isabella. Use this. The Interim Headmistress is weaker than you. Please don't die.
I don't think you thought much of it at the time, but you were the first girl to ever treat me like a normal person — like everybody else. Thank you. Our room has always felt so safe because of you.
At one and the same time, I feel like I can't explain in a million words and like I don't need to say a thing because you already understand. I hope the latter is true, because I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I wish I could have stayed. I wish we could be real people together.
This letter has by far the most cross-outs and rewrites, as well as the worst penmanship. By the end, there are a few tears in the paper from Anthy pressing down so hard with her pen.
Dearest Utena,
I lied to you a lot. All I can ask you to do is trust me that what I'm about to say is true.
I promised myself that I would never make you think of me again, but unfortunately, there are some extenuating circumstances. I've been in an unsafe situation recently. If you're reading this, it's because I'm dead, and my friendspeople I've m friends have sent it to you in my place.
What I did to you was unforgiveable. I deserve to die for that alone I hope you never meet anyone like me again. You deserve to be able to trust the people around you. I was scared that h There is no excuse. I won't attempt to make one. But since I didn't get a chance to say it before: I am sorry. It's the worst thing I've ever done., except for what I did to get myself killed.
None of this was your fault. I don't make very good choices, Utena. But they were mine, not yours. I could have killed you. I almost did. You were the best part of my life, and I think I was the worst part of yours. Thank you for teaching me how to be a real person. I made friends here, I think. Some of them are like m I think I finally figured it out. That isn't why I loved you, but I did love you. I do love you. It's selfish, but I don't want you to forget me.
Stay away from my brother. Stay away from Ohtori. Stay safe.
Inside are five neatly folded letters already put into envelopes, though not sealed or addressed. If pulled out, all five are identical, formally written, and honestly read like professional press releases. They're all also paper-clipped together. Stuck atop this stack is a Post-it note, which reads:
To whoever is left,
Please make sure all of these get to news desks of major networks or papers. At least one in the United States, one in the U.K., and one in Japan.
I don't care if you read them or not. It will be public knowledge soon enough in any case. Vanity, if you're reading this, I imagine you're the most likely to be sued for libel, so it would be best to consult your lawyer before getting involved.
Thank you all for doing this small but crucial task for me. If you don't, please know that I will make the rest of your lives a living hell.
The press releases themselves detail the abuses and crimes of the Ohtori family, including their ties to crime families in Japan and approach (one name mentioned is Togawa), their systematic isolation, physical abuse, and psychological torture of students; the cult ethos that pressures family of students to donate life savings and maintains influence over businessmen and politicians who are alumni of the Ohtori Method; and the sexual abuse endemic in the Ohtori family, including her older brother Akio's years-long abuse of Anthy herself. Each release is signed with Anthy's name, crisp and efficient.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
for afterwards.
Inside the single drawer of the bedside table are a number of neatly-folded letters.
will.
I, Anthy Himemiya, am of sound mind and body. Knowing I will most likely die soon, I would like to share my wishes regarding the postmortem distribution of my property.
The collection of fairy tale books under my bed that I stole from the Rosenblum Hall library will go to Mariko Shinobu.
My pet rat, Chu-chu, will go to Hawke if she's willing. I think it will make him happiest. If this isn't possible or is too burdensome in any way, I ask that our guidance counselor, Isabella, take care of him and give him to her children upon their reunion.
[Chu-chu, for the record, is in his cage — the first time anyone has seen him in there since the start of winter break. He's very agitated. Not happy in the least.]
My guitar will go to Hawke as well. It's not very good, but I hope she finds a use for it.
The two photos in this drawer [one of Utena alone in a hospital, one of Utena and Anthy together, the latter sporting a healing black eye] will go to Utena Tenjou, along with the letter addressed to her.
My rapier will go to Doloris Misumi.
Thank you,
Anthy Himemiya
isabella.
I was hoping to be able to speak with you more. I truly enjoyed talking with you. It might sound strange, but I didn't realize that mothers who cared about their children as people really existed. Thank you for proving my ignorance.
Please know you are not responsible in any way for what I've done. Do what needs to be done, and get home to your children.
With love,
Anthy Himemiya
hawke.
I'm sorry. In general, but to you especially. You've been so kind to me when I've never deserved it, and now I'm hurting you again when your wounds are so fresh.
This is something of a habit with me. The person I'm trying to save was also very kind to me, even though I didn't deserve it, and I almost killed her. I was hoping to live long enough to become something better than that, but it didn't work out that way.
I understand if you're angry. I hope you are, because what I've done is unforgiveable. Please know that everything I said to you under this roof, I meant. You are someone I hoped I could be like.
If you're willing, I would like to give Chu-chu to you. He likes you and trusts you, and Varric, too. He will be down for a while, but he loves to be with people most of all. If he has that, he'll find his way.
Yours,
Anthy
P.S. I may not get a chance to say this elsewhere. The Interim Headmistress is afraid of Isabella, at least in part because she's a mother. I memorized the quote: "Aren't you the kind of mother who eats her young?" The children were kidnapped to keep Isabella compliant, but also to keep the Interim Headmistress safe from the danger Isabella poses, real or perceived. Trust Isabella. Use this. The Interim Headmistress is weaker than you. Please don't die.
mariko.
I don't think you thought much of it at the time, but you were the first girl to ever treat me like a normal person — like everybody else. Thank you. Our room has always felt so safe because of you.
I'm sorry. Don't give up.
Sincerely,
Anthy Himemiya
doloris.
At one and the same time, I feel like I can't explain in a million words and like I don't need to say a thing because you already understand. I hope the latter is true, because I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I wish I could have stayed. I wish we could be real people together.
Thank you for reaching out to me.
Yours,
Anthy Himemiya,
A Witch
utena. cw suicidal ideation
Dearest Utena,
I lied to you a lot. All I can ask you to do is trust me that what I'm about to say is true.
I promised myself that I would never make you think of me again, but unfortunately, there are some extenuating circumstances. I've been in an unsafe situation recently. If you're reading this, it's because I'm dead, and my
friendspeople I've mfriends have sent it to you in my place.What I did to you was unforgiveable.
I deserve to die for that aloneI hope you never meet anyone like me again. You deserve to be able to trust the people around you.I was scared that hThere is no excuse. I won't attempt to make one. But since I didn't get a chance to say it before: I am sorry. It's the worst thing I've ever done., except for what I did to get myself killed.None of this was your fault. I don't make very good choices, Utena. But they were mine, not yours. I could have killed you. I almost did. You were the best part of my life, and I think I was the worst part of yours. Thank you for teaching me how to be a real person.
I made friends here, I think. Some of them are like mI think I finally figured it out. That isn't why I loved you, but I did love you. I do love you. It's selfish, but I don't want you to forget me.Stay away from my brother. Stay away from Ohtori. Stay safe.
Yours always,
Anthy Himemiya
press releases. cw child abuse mentioned, incl. sexual abuse + incest
To whoever is left,
Please make sure all of these get to news desks of major networks or papers. At least one in the United States, one in the U.K., and one in Japan.
I don't care if you read them or not. It will be public knowledge soon enough in any case.
Vanity, if you're reading this, I imagine you're the most likely to be sued for libel, so it would be best to consult your lawyer before getting involved.Thank you all for doing this small but crucial task for me. If you don't, please know that I will make the rest of your lives a living hell.
The press releases themselves detail the abuses and crimes of the Ohtori family, including their ties to crime families in Japan and approach (one name mentioned is Togawa), their systematic isolation, physical abuse, and psychological torture of students; the cult ethos that pressures family of students to donate life savings and maintains influence over businessmen and politicians who are alumni of the Ohtori Method; and the sexual abuse endemic in the Ohtori family, including her older brother Akio's years-long abuse of Anthy herself. Each release is signed with Anthy's name, crisp and efficient.
akio.
Big brother,
You couldn't keep me from dying a real girl.